The stages of tired

Posted on November 4, 2012


Stage one: Reading Torts casebook makes you sleepy.

Reason: This stuff would make anyone who isn’t, I don’t know, Posner, bored to the point of drowsiness.

Remedies: Alternate with reading something fun, playing peekaboo with a toddler, coffee, or a short nap.

Stage two: Reading Natural Resources Law casebook makes you sleepy.

Reason: I blame Congress. No matter how passionate one may be about the subject, statutes and regulations do not make stimulating or riveting reading material.

Remedies: Fold laundry, or hang some up wet to bypass the dryer, which was inefficient by standards during the Carter administration. It may not wake you up, but it does ameliorate the guilt of being unproductive. Fix something to eat.

Stage three: Reading Critical Race Theory casebook makes you sleepy. Most of this stuff is not only worth caring about, it’s also interesting and usually written by people passionate about what they have to say.

Reason: It’s after 10:00 PM and you’ve been awake since 0600. Your brain wants it to be bedtime.

Remedies: Text The Man to find out if The Woman needs a ride home from work. Get a glass of water because it’s too late for coffee.

Stage four: Reading your momentary favorite fan fiction genre makes you sleepy.

Reason: Sleep is a thing which humans require, you ninny.

Remedies: Write blog post as brain kicks over into insomnia mode because The Man and The Woman have neither come home nor texted about rides.

Stage five: Could maybe fall asleep while playing human pacifier/blankie/pillow.

Remedies: Nurse wakey toddler. Take him back to bed and hopefully fall asleep before he does.

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