Review of ‘Rock of Ages’ Movie

Posted on November 12, 2012


I don’t make time to watch very many movies, and I’ve never been a huge Tom Cruise fan. Back when vampires were cool, it was Brad Pitt I put on my wall, not Tom Cruise. While my best friend swooned over him in Far and Away, my favorite part of that movie was that Colm Meaney from Star Trek:TNG was in it.

Every time the tabloids notice Cruise, it’s to point out what a whackadoodle asshole he is. I also know nothing about the Broadway musical, so this movie wasn’t really on my radar until I saw a clip The Man was watching. It intrigued me enough to actually watch this morning.

OMFingGoddess, I loved it. It was a fun romp with lots of great 80’s rock ballads. It afforded me the opportunity to explain to Princess Fartypants that yes, some grownups think getting spanked is fun.

But most of all, Tom Cruise was amazing. He pulled off a performance of spectacular and sexy hands-on physicality, romping around the whole movie with no shirt on, pole dancing, and doing his own stunts while sporting the hottest bod of his life. And apparently he can sing–who knew?

Big blond 80’s hair–B+
Gratuitous inclusion of Mary J Blige in as many musical numbers as possible despite her small part–A
Alec Baldwin kisses a guy–A
Shameless sexual objectification of women Tom Cruise–A++

Overall, I rate this my favorite rock musical ever.

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